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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Alas! Someone from Cosmo IS Getting Laid...

Unless she's a lying old shrew.


Helen Gurley Brown, COSMO's erstwhile editor from 1966 to 1998, and the original "Cosmo Girl" has a letter in this Sunday's New York Times Book Review in which she writes to defend a book by Gail Sheehy ("Sex and the Seasoned Women" and other books I will never read) that Toni Bentley ("The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir" about butt-fucking (very much a reference guide which I keep on my Ikea nightstand) and who once said "...my ass is my very own back door to heaven.") slammed in a review last week. I don't care about this little literary old bag cat fight, but what I do care about is H.G.B.'s final line of her letter:

"Being over 50 (84!), by the way, I found the book ["Sex and the Seasoned Women"] realistic and inspiring. Don't mean to sound braggy (you know I don't know how to keep secrets), but my 90-year-old playmate and I are still sexually involved--pleasurably, reasonably, frequently. Seems to me if we can, *anybody* can."
(My bolded emphasis, as well as my throw-up all over my ergonomic keyboard)

So it would seem that someone at Cosmo (kind of) is indeed getting laid.

It's letter time:

"Dear Cosmo,

Sometimes when I'm giving my favorite gentleman caller a knob job, during a particularly vigorous deepthroating, I remove my face--in the height of passion--to find my mouth now empty. Empty of my teeth that is. And then find myself staring aghast as my dentures have poly-dented themselves onto my amour's wrinkly schlong. Two parter: #1: Is this something I should be embarrassed about? #2: And how to recover from this little faux-pas?

Thanks,
H.G.B.
Carnegie Old Folks' Home
New York City."
Above: The H.G.B. and her decomposing fuck-buddy.

Come on, current Cosmo Girls, surely you're getting laid more than this old biddy.

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