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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

What Guys Are Dying To Know About Women

I didn't even realize how ridiculous yet hilarious Cosmopolitan was until I was taking a shit at a one-night stand's apartment a few weeks ago and stumbled upon an issue in the bathroom...would you believe that so-called MEN actually write in and ask questions of Cosmopolitan? Unreal.

No, Samson. He's pulling your penis. That's why a viscous white fluid just shot out of it and onto your buddy's face.

Ted, I think it would be best if you whittled your penis down to 0 inches in length and 0 inches in width, so that hopefully you'll never bring any retarded children into this world. You can compensate by getting really good at washing dishes and sweeping floors.

Yes, Terrence, after you blow your buddy in the coat check room, you probably shouldn't go back on to the dance floor and start kissing women. That's both gross, and borderline felonious.

(images from Cosmopolitan magazine)

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