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Friday, December 30, 2005


Every month D.A.A.C.G.L. will select the biggest douche that has chosen to forsake his dignity to appear in a women's glossy. In honor of our kick-off for this now-prestigious award, this month we will have two winners. Their joint prize is a night of passionate sex to be photographed for the pages of GloryHole Digest.
Not that this homo-douche would know, but most guys fuck women side-by-side because we're lazy (and it's the best position to watch TV in without your girl noticing.) Sex shouldn't be a workout, and side-by-side is without doubt the low-impact Jazzercise of fucking.

I mean, does this joke not write itself? Of course this two-bit Orlando Bloom-looking douche prefers to be banged from behind. Hargave further explains, "In this position he can't make eye contact, so when you cum all over his back, he won't feel it until Mr. Side-by-Side's man paste has dripped down all the way to gay(er?) Orlando Bloom's pink pajama pants with the sheep on them."

(images from Cosmopolitan magazine)

Doesn't every metrosexual fag in Cosmo look like Orlando Bloom?
Love the closeup shot of the cute lil sheep on the pink PJ pants! You truly did save the best for last. I wonder what the fuck the stylist was thinking when she dressed him this way?
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